We just want to relax and squirm in your mud. Have a lick.

6/1/18

The Greased Wheel


A local entrepreneur responded to your intoxicated rambling.  Ian Duds will revolutionize drunk consumption on campus, pressuring Kyle at Dominoes to drive faster with my pie.  “Imagine,” he slurs, “everyone is stumbling and grumbling back from a banger, writhing in hunger, when you hear reggae music pull up to the bookstore.  Yeah, a converted ice cream truck packed with different fast food chains, McDonald’s to Subway.” The scavenger will circle downtown buying grease to flip and we pay extra justifiably being lazy gluts.  Asked about funding, Duds touts his recent investors, “Well both my mom and cousin donated to The Greased Wheel kickstarter. Now that I have $250 my buddy Horseshoe will probably let me rent his busted mail truck.  I can work when I want, like Tuesday and Thursday after my Tree Molding lab.” But the innovation is threatened, another game of beer die and Duds may forget this entire venture. Such brave philanthropy can dominate fat delivery, possibly including blended meals for mobile salad, burgers, and sandwiches.  Academia breeds the future.

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